Forgiveness
by Jennyngibbsbelong2getha
Summary: Nine years ago today NCIS Special Agent Jennifer Shepard left her lover NCIS Special Agent Leory Jethro Gibb's in Paris. Nine years later can they find there way back to each other. JIBBS all the way!


**Note; **I am honestly sorry about the delay guys, Had even more computer problems. I can't wait till my new one arrives, It's taking ages lolz.

Title- Forgiveness

Rating- **K+**

Spoilers- One line from the epsiode 'Dead and Unburied' Season 4. Mentions of 'Honor Code' Season 3.

**A/N-** I don't know the exact date Jen left Gibb's in Paris or how long they were in Paris for, I'm pretty sure the show doesn't tell us so I used a random date and made up a time period hope thats ok.

**Disclaimer**-They arn't mine, I wish they were though. This story idea is mine though.

**Forgiveness.**

_Flashback; 14th June Paris 1999_

_She sat on the chair in the corner of the bedroom that she shared with her lover NCIS Special Agent Leory Jethro Gibbs. She smiled through the silent tears that ran down her cheeks as she looked at him sleeping. She thought of all of the good times that they had shared since they had arrived in Paris six months ago.Even though she loved him with all of her heart part of her was scared after all he was married and they were undercover in a forgein country, 'God Jenny you really know how to get yourself into messes don't you' she chided herself silently. She looked at him one last time longing, wishing that she could slip back under the warm covers and feel him wrap his strong arms around her and mumble into her hair how much he loved her but she knew it wasn't that easy, There was their job's to think about and other people's happiness to think about here and not to mention over six months of undercover work to she told herself trying to stop the pain she was feeling inside but deep down she knew this had to be done she only hoped that one day he would understand why._

_She pulled the thick yellow envelope out of her handbag and walked quietly over to the bed and slipped it onto the small table beside the bed, he stirred gently in his sleep but she leant down and kissed him on the cheek, _

_"I'll be back soon" She whispered to him praying he wouldn't open his eyes, He didn't even respond just simply moved a little then fell back into sleep._

_Part of her wished that he had woken and then maybe he would see how scared and hurt she was, How unsure she really was of this decision she was making, But also part of her was glad he had stayed sleeping._

_She walked over to the door where her bag was packed and silently opened the door and slipped out before she did though she whispered into the silent room,_

_'I hope you can forgive me for this Jethro" and then she was gone._

_End Flashback._

_**Jen's House; **_

She turned over for what felt like the millionth time, She had auctully left the office early for once and had been in bed by 11pm but that had made no difference, Even though her body needed sleep her mind wouldn't allow her to sleep. Groaning she looked at the clock that sat beside her bed, Its bright red glowing numbers informing her that it was well and truly into the next day, The14th of June. Every year she dreaded this day, She wished that she could forgive herself, That he could forgive her but she didn't think that would ever happen. Today was the day that 9 year's ago she had left the one man that she had truly loved, That had truly loved her. She had been in other realationships after him but she had never loved someone as much as she had loved him, Never let another person in to see the true her.

_'What did you leave him for Jen?' _She scolded herself, _'That's right Jen, You left him for your job.'_ She reminded herself, Hating that she had these conversations with herself about him more and more frequently.

_'Was it really, Truly worth it?' _She asked herself, She wanted to tell herself that it was, That she had no regrets, But that was a lie.When she had turned around in MTAC and seen him again she had felt her heart race like only he could make it, That night after her first day when she had gone home it was the first time that she had allowed herself to cry, Truly cry about the decision she had made. When she had seen how he cared for Zack she had once again found herself falling in love with him all over again. Since then she had cherished the nights he would show up at her office with dinner for them both, The phonecalls, The Coffee that he let her share, The looks he gave her that made her spine tingle, The way he would walk her to her car late at night. She shook her head trying to shake the thoughts of him out of her head_.'I have to stop doing this to myself' _She told herself.

She pushed the heavy covers off her body, Shivering when the cold air hit her body making her skin tingle. She dragged herself out of bed and slowly made her way to the adjouring bathroom. She turned the cold tap on and splashed water on her face, Not only trying to look more alive, But to also snap her mind away from one certain NCIS Special Agent. But even the icy coldness of the water didn't work. She turned the tap off angrily and looked in the mirror. When she saw her reflection she felt even worse, Her eyes usually a bright, Vibrant green looked dull and lifeless, The large blackish bags that were from lack off sleep were made even more obivious by her skind that was so pale it was almost translucent.

She felt like crying but stopped herself, Instead she leant her forehead against the coolness of the mirror and closed her eyes as she thought back to the hurtful words that her and Gibb's had exchanged yesterday;

He had come into her office asking her advice after a case involving a petty officer that had conned three women, She had tried to apoligise to him for bringing up the past but he hadn't let her, Instead it had turned into a fight;

_'I know I shouldn't have bought up the past, I know you had your reasons for not wanting to talk about it' _

He had closed her office door and walked back over to her desk looking right at her he had said,

_'We are talking about it now'_

_'Now is it not Paris'_

_'Your pritories were clear in Paris' _

_'I had a job to do in Europe'_

_'If I had told you about my first wife would it have made a difference?'_

_'We'll never know'_

She winced as she thought of the coldness of not only her words to him, But also his words to her. She wished she had stopped him from walking out of her office, It had felt like her heart was breaking all over again, When he had slammed his way out of her office, How she had wished she had grabbed him and kissed him but she had let him walk away.

She opened her eyes and pulled away from the mirror, She looked at herself again closely in the mirror and realised that tears were forming in her eyes she jammed her palms into her eyes not willing to let herself cry about him again.

She took a few deep breaths and walked back into her bedroom, She looked at the clock and decided that today she wasn't going into work she had files bought home the previous night that she could work on. There was no way she could handle his eyes following her every move, For she was scared about what she would see if she looked into his eyes. She knew that todays date was burned into his memory also.

She picked up her cellphone relieved that it was to early for her assitant to be in the office so she could avoid any uncomfortable questions that Cynthina may ask. She left a message explaning that she would be working from home today and was not to be contacted unless it was an emergency.

Having made the phonecall she turned her cellphone off and walked downstairs to her study where she kept a bottle of Bourbon. She picked it up and a glass and carried them back up to her bedroom. She closed her bedroom door, Even though it was only her in the house she needed the reassurance that the closed door gave her.

Before she went back to bed she walked over to her wardrobe and moved some of the books and boxes that sat on the top shelf untill she found the photo ablum that she was looking for. A ablum that she hadn't let herself look at for over a year, For the photos and memories in the ablum bought up strong emotions that she didn't always know how to handle. But today she needed to look at the photos of the smiling younger versions of her and Gibb's.

She sat on her bed, Drinking from a large glass of bourbon, She opened the photo ablum and started looking at all the pictures taking her time to look at each one and the memories that came with them, She let her tears flow freely as she ran her fingers over the photos.

_**Gibb's House;**_

He woke up to the sound of ZNN droning on in the background. He reached for his cellphone and when he saw the time he groaned and rubbed his hand over his face trying to wake himself up. He sat up and stretched, His back stiff and sore from sleeping on the harsh wooden surface of his boat. His mind snapped back to the previous day and he groaned again, Remembering why it was that he had spent his night angrlily sanding his boat and drinking almost the whole bottle of bourbon. He flashed back to the case, To Jen's comments about their past, To the fight they had had in her office, Them both exchanging harsh words about her leaving in Paris, Then Shannon and Kelly but what stuck in his mind most were the last words she had said to him before he had slammed his way out of her office like a angry two year old;

_'We'll never know'. _Part of him had wanted to tell her about Shannon and Kelly when they had been together but he had never been good at sharing his emotions and thoughts. It felt like she had reached in and ripped out his heart when she had said that to him.

He shook his head and stood up and stumbled up the stairs and into the shower. Once he had finished and was drinking a cup of coffee he felt his mind clearing. He walked back down to the basement to get his cellphone, When he picked it up he opened it to check if he had missed any calls, But there were no missed calls instead he saw the date bold and clear 'June 14th'. He froze, Once again his mind flashed back to harsh words him and his Ex-Lover had exchanged then his mind flashed back to waking up in Paris and reaching for her, But instead of her warm body the bed was cold and there was a yellow envelope sitting on the bedside table with his name written in her neat looping handwriting, He rememberd ripping it open and reading it. Hurrying out of the room hoping to find her, To stop her but he never had found her and she had walked back into his life last year as his boss. The young agent he had taught so much was now the Director of NCIS.

He slammed his coffee cup down on the boat and debated what he should do. They had been dancing around their feelings for each other for a long time he could try and confront her but he knew that wouldn't work for they were both to stubborn to be the first one to cave and admit how they felt. He decided to go in and not apoligse but take her a cup of her favourite coffee as a peace offering.

He looked at his phone again and realised that if he didn't hurry Tony might auctully be at work before him.

**NCIS;**

Cynthina arrived and was suprised to find that there were no lights on in the Director's office or any sign that she had even arrived at work yet, She found this odd because Jen was always here before she arrived. Cynthina took her jacket off and settled behind her desk, It was then that she noticed the small red flashing light of the answering machine, She pushed the playback button and was suprised when it was Jen's voice that she heard,

_'Cynthina, It's Jen._

_I won't be coming in today, I have some files here that I will work on._

_Please cancel all of my apoinments._

_I am not to be disturbed unless it is an emergency.'_

Cynthina thought it odd that Jen was taking the day off in the middle of the week without any warning, and she was postive it wasn't a special day or aniversary. She cancelled all of Jen's apoinments, She was putting her coat on when Agent Gibb's stormed past her desk,

"Agent Gibb's" She called out before he could go through the Director's door.

He turned around, With his hand resting on the door handle whilst giving her a good 'Gibb's stare' that scared her.

"She isn't in" She told him

He removed his hand from the door handle and walked slowly till he was standing in front of her desk.

"What do you mean?" He asked her in a low tone that she knew meant trouble

"I just got the message from her now, Saying that she wouldn't be in today" She told him

He continued staring at her, "Did she say why?"

"No, She didn't give a reason" She told him

He nodded and walked back down to the bullpen.

Tony saw Gibb's coming and stopped throwing pencils at McGee, When he saw the look on his boss's face he couldn't help himself,

"What's up boss, The Director give the FBI a case again?" He joked

Gibb's stormed over to his own desk and down, Slamming his coffee cup down,

"No Dinozzo, But if you don't get back to work I will give you to the FBI" Gibb's snapped as he angrily punched in the numbers for Jen's cellphone, It went straight to voicemail which angered him more.

"Dammit" He said loudly as he slammed the phone back into its cradle.

Tony looked at Ziva and mouthed 'Ouch'. She simply raised her eyebrows at him wondering when he partner would learn.

Gibb's stood up and pushed his chair back angrily.

"I'm going out. When I get back I want all of your reports finished and on my desk" He told the three of them,

He headslapped Tony on his way to the lift,

"Thanks Boss" Tony called after him

Once Gibb's had gotten into the lift Tony turned to Ziva,

"Something has really pissed him off! Do you think him and the Director had another fight?"

Before Ziva could answer Ducky spoke up, He had gotten off the lift as Gibb's had gotten on and had noticed his friends bad mood. He had been coming up to see how Jen and Gibb's were today but now he thought to himself that he didn't have to ask.

"I think you will find Anthony that its best Jethro doesn't hear you talking like that today" Ducky told him

"Why Ducky?" Ziva asked

Ducky sighed knowing that giving details of Gibb's and Jen's personal life was not an option, Even though Tony, Ziva, McGee and Abby all speculated about the past the Jenny and Gibb's shared. Ducky was not going to be the one that confirmed their suspicions, He valued his life after all.

"Ducky?" Ziva pressed now intrigued

He heard Ziva saying his name and it bought him back to present time.

"Today just has signficent meaning for them both. I was auctuly just coming up to see how Jethro and our lovely Director were holding up but I see now that it is effecting Jethro far more than I thought" Ducky said, Now confident that Ziva and McGee would leave it alone, and that Ziva could keep Tony in line.

Tony raised his eyebrows at Ziva and was about to say something but she reached for her stapler, While giving him a pointed look that shut him up immediatly.

Ducky noticed the exchange between the partners and couldn't stop himself from smiling.

"Well i'm going to go and see Jennifer, Try not to kill Anthony while I am gone Ziva" He said smiling to himself as he walked up the stairs towards Jen's office.

When he reached her office he was suprised to find all of the lights off, He saw Cynthina wearing her coat and carrying her bag ready to leave. He walked over to her,

"Cynthina dear, Is the Director in?" He asked her

Cynthina sighed hoping that the Doctor wasn't going to respond the same way Agent Gibb's had.

"She called and said she was going to be working from home today" She told him. Wondering why he was looking for Jen.

Ducky nodded, "Thank you dear. Would you like me to walk you to your car?" He asked her

She was suprised when he didn't push her, Or ask more questions.

"Thank you, But i'll be fine Doctor" She told him

He nodded again and walked past her to walk back down to the bullpen when Cynthina asked him,

"Is there something I should know about? She isn't in trouble is she?"

Ducky turned around, "No dear, Nothing like that at all. It's something between her and Agent Gibb's" He told her

She nodded, Trusting the Doctor.

Ducky said goodbye to her then walked back down to the bullpen.

_**XxXx**_

Gibb's pulled up outside Jen's house and was suprised to see the bedroom curtains were still drawn. When he had first left NCIS he had been so angry at her butas he has driven to her house the more he thought about it, The more he realised that he was worried about her. He got out of his car and walked up to her front door, He tried the door but found it locked he thought back to where she used to keep the spare key and sure enough it was still there. He opened her door and closed it quietly behind him.

He walked upstairs heading straight for her bedroom noticing that the bottle of bourbon that usually sat on the desk in her study was missing. He reached her bedroom door and was suprised to find that it was closed.

She always left all of the doors open cause it was only her. He couldn't decided if he should knock or not but he heard what he knew were tears and pushed open her bedroom door.

He was shocked to see her leaning over a book of some sort and crying heart wrenching sobs.

He rushed over to her side and pulled her into a hug, He was expecting her to push him away, to tell him to leave, or at least a smart comment about him breaking into her house.

But instead she let him hold her, She held on to him and let him stroke her hair as she cried.

When she had stopped crying he had pulled away so he could look at her, and at the book that seemed to be the cause of her tears. But she pushed the book away and turned to look at him,

"Why are you here Jethro?" She asked him

"You weren't at work, I was worried" He told her

When she heard him say he was worried about her she felt her heart start to race, "What do you mean?" she asked him

He took a deep breath looking at her face trying to see if she felt what he did.

"I mean Jen, That when I first woke up this morning and realised what the date was I felt everything I did when I woke up in Paris and found that you were gone" He told her

She cut him before he could start his next sentance, "Jethro, I am so sorry..."

He placed his hand over her mouth, "No more talking Jen" He told her as he took his hand away and kissed her gently.

She was suprised but then wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her, She deepened the kiss and pulled him down over her, When the need for air became to much they both pulled away.

"Jen..I Love..."

"I know, Now shut up and kiss me agiain" She told him grinning him.

_**XxXx**_

Tony turned to Ducky, "Do you think we should try calling him?" He asked

Ducky smiled and shook his head, "No I think we should leave them alone" and Ducky then walked off back to Autospy

Tony turned to Ziva and asked, "What do you think they are doing Zee-vah?"

She reached for her stapler and gave him another pointed look, He looked at her and smiled nervously,

"You wouldn't hurt me Ziva" He told her

She picked up the stapler and moved towards him with a evil grin on her face.

_**XxXx**_

That night Jen and Gibb's lay tangled together in her bed, Both knowing that they still had alot to sort through and many hurdles to come but aslong as they had each other they knew they would be ok.

**The End.**

_**XxXx**_

Don't hate me for the incredibly cheesy ending Please remember to review!

I am finishing 'Flowers' and The last chapter and epilouge of 'Through the good times and the bad' all should be up by sunday afternoon my time.


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